Stranded on a Desert Island.

For the life of me, I can’t remember which blog it was that I follow that posted this idea, mostly because I wasn’t planning on using it. But, come today, I was stuck for a blog topic, and realized how fun it could be to explore it a little. Basically, this unknown blogger (ugh, I wish I could link them, I’m sorry!) postulated an interesting idea: Which literary characters wouldn’t you want to be stranded on a desert island with? I’m sure we can think of many, many we’d like to have with us to help us through the ordeal, but which characters might not be so ideal?

I had to really rack my brain for my choice, but I came up with a Top 5 Characters NOT to be Stranded on a Desert Island With:

1. Anna Karenina (Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy): Perhaps I was missing something, but I found quite a deal lacking the the title heorine of Tolstoy’s classic tale. To me, Anna came off as rather selfish, a woman who tended to seize what she wanted but didn’t want to deal with the consequences and complained quite a bit when she had to face the fact that her actions would lead to other unpleasant things. I cannot imagine her being much fun on a desert island. I can see her keeping a stiff upper lip, sure, but I can only see her fending for herself with little care for those around her, though she would likely be willing to reap the benefits of those too kind hearted to let her completely flounder around by herself. No, thank you. Now, Levin, on the other hand…

2. Joffrey Baratheon (A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin): Anyone familiar with Game of Thrones or the series that inspired the HBO phenomenon will agree with me on this one. This little shit would be an absolute nightmare to be stuck on an island with, especially since I expect he’d go all Lord of the Flies on everyone, but with a much higher death count. He’d be absolutely insufferable…and potentially very dangerous. Sick little fuck. Also fitting in an honorable mention for the same reason might be Peter Wiggin of Ender’s Game, but he’s smart enough to at least pretend to not be a sociopath.

3. Rachel Price (The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver): While I adore Rachel on a certain level, the eldest daughter of the Price clan in Kingsolver’s fantastic novel about the Belgian Congo shows right from the get-go that she’s not cut out for hardships. Oh, sure, she’ll put up with what she’ll have to, but she’ll complain about it gloriously the whole. damn. time. She’ll say ‘sayonara’ as soon as she gets the chance and leave everyone else high and dry. Not to mention, I’d want to shake her every single time she insisted on saying common colloquialisms completely wrong. Charmed, I’m not so sure…

4. Kazuo Kirayama (Battle Royale by Koushin Takami): Before there were Hunger Games, there was Battle Royale, wherein a class of Japanese students are shipped off to an island with the expectation of killing each other until there is only one student standing. So we already know that Kiriyama is a ruthless killer in a desperate island situation. Add to the fact that he’s a violence-loving sociopath with a partial lobotomy that disallows him from feeling any pain or empathy…yeah. Definitely not someone I’d want to go up against.

5. Kyle (The Slayer Saga by L.S. Engler): Okay, so I may have cheated a little with this last one, because it’s a book I wrote that’s not even published yet, but, seriously, Kyle is the worst. You’ll see what I’m talking about come July/August!

I’m sure there could be plenty more; these were just the first ones to pop into my head. What about you? Who would be on the top of your list of people to not have with you on a deserted island, and why? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

(I’m thinking that’s what Saturdays should be all about, fun discussions about books and characters!).


    • Nopenopenopenopenope.

      I am so glad I’m reading this comment in the middle of a bright and sunny day instead of at night, because Pennywise is seriously nightmarish material for me. BRB, going to go hide under the covers now, thanks.

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