This morning, I was suffering a little bit of dilemma in my uncertainly whether or not to post the blog today. Clearly, the answer to that particular conundrum turned up positive for the posting, especially since I realized that the indecisiveness itself was a worthy topic for my mindset.
You see, today is one of those days where I leave the house for work at 9:30 in the morning and I usually don’t get home until a quarter after ten in the evening because I’m double shifting between my two jobs. I haven’t had one of these days in about a month, so I’m sort of dreading it. On top of this, we’re moving, and while I’m gone, my roommate’s having her father come and move some of the heavy stuff, so I’m trying to get a few things taken care of there for him. In my mind, I’m thinking: “I don’t have time to be posting; I don’t have time for any of my usual stuff, and I totally crashed early without doing half of what I was supposed to, so I’m behind, behind, behind!”
But that’s just the thing. I’m actually not behind on anything except maybe Serpent in a Cage. I woke up about an hour earlier than usual so that the one thing I knew I couldn’t really “catch up” on (750 words) could get finished, and I managed it in my usual 15 to 20 minutes, which does not an hour make. I’m a numbers type of person, so I consider that I’m actually almost 10,000 words ahead of the goal for my Novel in 6 months (10,000! Holy crap!), so something tells me I can skip the 45 minute writing session today, there’s plenty of buffer there. And as far as the blog goes, well, I have a certain amount of viewers I’d like to have per day, and I’m well above that, and so, my brain tells me, it’s okay to skip a day, even though I still have the time.
Notice how I’m writing it anyway. Part of it was guilt. I have the time; I have no excuse. And so here I am. But it also works for me to ask another question: How do you handle the guilt of taking it easy once in a while? For me, I need a fistful of reasons before I feel even remotely satiated with the idea of skipping something on my list (12 hour work day, moving, being well ahead of my numbers), and, even then, I’m feeling plagued and negligent. While I do know there are some people out there who blessed enough to take a break and appreciate it, but I also know I’m not alone in this. So I’m curious to dig up some other thoughts and ideas on the matter; maybe I can add your thoughts to my arsenal of reasons on why it’s OKAY to sometimes not do as much as you’d like to.
And, really, I had to post to thank Heatherishither and 1storyeveryday for subscribing to the blog! Two new subscribers? Talk about a boost in my confidence! Thanks so much, guys! I look forward to having you around!
L.S. Engler 